One last piece on leaving 2011 and entering 2012, before you all have me shot for writing endlessly on the topic. But for me, the reality is that the timing of the job change and some of the things that went down in the last year turn this transition into a big thing, both in reality (because of the timing of the new gig) and symbolically (because I really like being able to lay 2011 down and watch it fade into the past, even if that’s really just a symbolic thing). I had hopes 2011 would be a pretty good year, and in ways it was, and in other ways, thanks in large part to Leo, it really, really sucked. oh well. We’ll give it a C, because right now for some reason I’m into letter grades for things. (or maybe going back to my 2nd grade report card, something like “English: A, handwriting: F” — the good was really good, the not so good was, well, really good-not-so).
So we’ll try again in 2012, and do our best.
I’ve gotten the usual “why do you post this stuff?” of which their is a common subtext of “Oh my god, I’m too afraid of what people might think to post stuff like this”. I understand the fear completely. It’s tough to get past. Most people are afraid people will look down on them for having problems (or admitting to them). I’ve found the opposite: I hear from people who are amazed someone is willing to talk about them openly. And in some cases, I hear from folks that it helps: when I talked about my sleep apnea, I heard from three people who went to doctors and getting under treatment, on the diabetes, four that I know of. Being part of helping someone avoid a problem or crisis? Priceless. (For a recent reminder of this, there’s a nice blog post by Jason, over on Webomatica. some of his thoughts this year echo some things I’ve been chewing on again as well).
The main reason I do this, though, is that the process of thinking through what to write and organizing it is what I need to actually crystalize my thoughts and feelings and understand them for myself. I put them here on the blog because that way, when I come back to review them over time, they’re there — and I can’t edit the past on myself as easily. It helps (forces!) me to be honest with myself, and these journal entries when viewed over time help me see how my thoughts and priorities and attitudes have changed over time. I must admit that, having left a trail of babbling that goes back on the internet into the early 1980s, that I sometimes wake up from a nightmare where I’ve found myself turned into some PhD student’s thesis… But hopefully, that won’t happen until I no longer have reason to care…
The last few months, for some reason, I have been thinking about starting a second blog. This other blog would be private, and password protected. And have a deadman’s switch, where if I don’t go and reset the dates, it’ll out itself, because, well, the assumption is that I’m no longer able to. And then I realize it’d be a really boring thing, because no, I’m not going to put stuff in it that I wouldn’t put in here. No salacious crap, no hidden diatribes about who screwed up what with webOS, no special notes about that secret weekend with the Queen Mother. None of that. Well, maybe some. But I’m not ready to accept my own mortality to that level yet, much as I realize I may not have a say in the matter.
In any event, onward. My priorities for 2012 are pretty simple: figure out my blog, upgrade it so it better represents who I am today, because I think it’s still somewhat lost in the muddled idea of what I was that was part of the decision to leave Apple. Now I know who that person is, and I really like how it turned out, and now, my online presence needs to better represent that.
That interest in representing my vision is what’s pushing me forward in my photography again. And it’s why after all these years I’d dragged out my old writing and the unfinished novels and I’m taking a close look at it — although to be honest, and I’m a much different writer than i was then, and most of what I left unfinished deserves to be, so that’s all going to be a fresh start. All I’m keeping are the core ideas.
So what should you expect from me this year?
More of the same. But more me. More commentary. I think I’ll wade into some of the geek and tech echo chamber discussions more. I want to talk a bit less about photography, but write about it more (and if you don’t understand the difference, maybe I’ll explain it later). The occasional picture of a kitteh or a puppy or a unicorn, just for old time’s sake. And if I get to the fiction, and it doesn’t suck and doesn’t make me crazy doing it, you’ll see some of it here, too.
I want to get serious about the ebook work; the backup series I wrote is on the list for conversion to a more substantial and packaged form. Ditto some of my lightroom writings. I’m going to do more reviews, and while some of that will include affiliate links, I have no intention of trying to turn this place into a revenue generator or blow up the design in search of page views and ad clicks. If I try, please shoot me. Turning your blog into something that looks like a neon whorehouse on New Years in search of micro payments for clicks just seems like a losing proposition to me (even though I know some people make good money at it); the most my affiliate links have ever done in a month is about $15, and most months, it’s <$5. Maybe I’ll sell a few prints, sell a few ebooks. If so, great. If not, Google Adsense isn’t going to pay the rent and I’m not interested in giving up the screen real estate and turn this site into a billboard chasing it.
If a writing opportunity hits that makes sense on some other site, I might consider it, now that I’m away from HP and the conflicts that entailed. But I’m not looking to chase those; I’d rather focus on my own site and writing for now.
And I have to decide whether I’m really serious about getting into writing apps; I have some ideas that are intriguing. I’m not such if they’re viable, or if I want to commit the time to implement them. That’s a decision I have to put time into and probably won’t happen until summer, if then. (and yes, I’ll be writing for IOS and perhaps WinMobile. Sorry, webOS folks; if and when there are viable hardware devices, we can talk. And android just doesn’t interest me, and the numbers back on paid apps with android just don’t give me a warm feeling; it may be no platform makes me feel like it’s worth the investment. we’ll see). The big challenge I see is that I think if I try to do blog + photos + fiction + apps I’m spreading too thin. It may well come down to making a choice between going into app development or going back into fiction writing, and I don’t know which way I’ll choose. I know my heart says “Novel!” right now, but maybe that’s just a fling with my past, and my head will change that decision… honestly, it’s fun not having easy answers, because sometimes, the real fun is in the chase, not the catch.
Heck, if the answers were easy, it wouldn’t be worth chasing, right?
Hope your 2012 rocks. Don’t be afraid to thrive.